STILL PAIN

by Deanne
(Lerryn, lostwithiel,Cornwall, UK)

I WAS 3YRS OLD WHEN MY NYLON NIGHTY CAUCHT FIRE AND BURNED ME 75 percent OF MY TINY BODY, 3rd. DEGREE BURNS. I WAS TOLD LATER IN LIFE THAT I WAS LUCKY TO BE ALVE AS THE DOCTORS HAD TO FIGHT TWICE TO KEEP ME ALIVE.
MY FIRST RECOLLECTION IS SMELLING THE BURNING HAIR, THE HEAT AND THEN THE PAIN, I SAW MY MOTHER IN THE DOORWAY TOTALLY PARALISED,DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, THEN I PASSED OUT. MY NEXT ONE WAS WHEN I SAW MY MUM STANDING AT THE END OF THE STRETCHER I WAS LYING ON IN THE AMBULANCE,SHE WASN'T ALLOWED TO HUG ME, I WAS SCREAMING INSIDE FOR HER TO COME CLOSE AND HUG ME THEN I FELT MYSELF LEAVING MY BODY AND SAW MYSELF FROM ABOVE ONLY FOR SECONDS.
THESE IMAGES HAVE NEVER LEFT ME. NOW I AM A 'grown woman'
who is still suffering every day, my life has not been easy to say the least. I suffer alone even though I have my 3 beautiful children who I share my life with.
I live in a very remote village in Cornwall where I feel very alone as I do not know any one who can understand what and how I feel. I could write a BOOK about my life.
I am painfully insecure about the way I look, the forever staring of people but I can't blame them either as I don't like what I see when looking in the mirror, the pain I feel inside still reduces me to tears daily. and wish I could find some contact with fellow survivors' of burns

Many thank for taking out time to read my short story

Yours sincerely
Deanne

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